Radical Honesty

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Date: 14 December 2021. Revised: 3 January 2022, 10 January 2022, 4 February 2022. Author: Hans-Dieter Hiep. Category: fictional realism.

TRIGGER WARNING: This is a piece of fictional realism. Take it with a grain of salt.


For a very long time, I did not say out loud what I thought, felt, or saw. I kept myself quiet, being scared that people would judge me for what I would have to say. No longer am I scared, for I no longer care what other people think of me. Let them think whatever they want. Let them laugh at me; let them say whatever they want to say. Let them hate me, let them despise me, let them shiver, and let them thrill in their fantasies of murdering me1. So, let them avoid me if they don't like to be around me; or clean me up and recycle me if they so much think they have the power to abdicate me from the surface of the world. I don't care: what do I have to lose?

All this takes place in what is called the social theatre. One has to keep up appearances. Play the bullshitting game according to the rules. Do not dissent or complain: those who do fall out of favor. Pretend the world is good, and the world will be good for you. Bullshitting has spiraled out of control and has taken over our entire society: modern society is totally covered in bullshit.

For a very long time, I escaped in cyberspace and shifted myself away from so-called reality, diving deep in books, computers, mathematics, and esoteric technical material, and studied, and studied for as much time I could find in a day. Every setback in my material life has resulted in me going even deeper in my virtual life of study and contemplation. The endless abyss filled with written material is as if it were bottomless, since there is not enough time in one human life to read everything there is to read. Now, finally, I have seen the light and can safely conclude: most of it is bullshit; most of what I read is utterly useless and senseless bullshit. There's no end to it. There is no joy to it. There is no beauty. There is no ideal. It's just my hopeless attempt to avoid suffering that causes even more suffering. To proceed, is to proceed with care: unlearning most of the bullshit around me, and developing myself from vicious wickedness.

An immense spark of joy ignites in me, when I experience deeply an idea, new to me, that sheds light on the world in a new way; bringing illumination to every object, in a way unseen before. It brings ecstatic joy, pleasure, and a sense of relieve, temporarily removing the suffering of life. Discovering such ideas is difficult, and becomes more difficult each time over: these ideas are burried deeply in hidden pieces of text; these ideas are shared or talked about only by certain people—difficult to find; these ideas are lurking from spontaneous discovery in everyday moments. In my conquest for seeking out illumination, my strategies, tactics, and attacks become more vile and passionate...

In my darkest hours, having not seen the light for the longest time, I wish to obtain power, money, and fame; so I can inflict on other people the same suffering that I have inflicted on myself. As a way to take revenge on people, for it is them to blame that I never reached what I crave for, what I desire, the most: absolute salvation and deliverance from my own suffering. It is in this way, how I look (up) to people who are now in positions of power, money, and fame. They are the same masochistic eunuchs serving the highest authority there is in this world; the same deviant rebels that suffer life in the same way that I do. They are possesed by the same evils that I am possesed by. They are driven by the same passions, and are enslaved to serve the same demigods that I serve. They are misleading themselves, away from the light, in the same way that I am misleading myself.

Let me enumerate some of those demigods here, so to take the bull by his horns.

The Demigod of Hard Work. People who have worked hard, spent enourmous amount of energy, and think they have accomplished something, will eventually find out they have accomplished nothing. In their furiority, they make other people suffer the same pointlessness they have suffered themselves: to work, to work endlessly, to work without rest. It is precisely the eventual output of a person minus the necessary input to that person that defines the person's worth. People cannot inherit work or own work, since work is an activity not a passivity, so people who do not work are worthless. There are two strategies for increasing the worth of a person: the first is to increase output while maintaining the same input, which comes at a great suffering called squeezing out; the second is to reduce input while maintaining the same output, which also comes at a great suffering called suffocation.

The Demigod of Money. Money, or debt, represents potential work. Accumulation of a cash of money, allows a person to let others work for it. Profit is accomplished by investing less money in work than the amount of money the work returns. There is a cost of retaining money: money rots if left sitting idle. A person's worth is defined precisely by their possession by money. A profitable person is increasing their worth, any other person is a loser. The richness of a person is irrelevant to that person's worth: a wealthy and profitable person can still be very poor. Wealthy persons are typically poor looking, skimpy, white scumbags. Those people that show off their wealth are bound to lose it, so it is better to avoid them like the plague, than to stick around and get infected by their expansive lifestyle.

The Demigod of Knowledge. People who study and invest large parts of their lives in obtaining knowledge, revising and updating their knowledge, perfecting their knowledge; will eventually find out they know nothing still. In their rage, they make knowledge esoteric, inaccessible, and intangible: to make the journey of other unenlightened journeymen seeking knowledge as miserable in the end as their own. It is precisely the amount of knowledge, measured in making correct predictions of the future, that defines a person's worth. People who do not know the intricate rules of the knowledge game, who cannot untie the endless knots, the ambiguities and the countless interpretations, are worthless. People with not enough knowledge must be educated, so their unknowingness is ameliorated, and consequently become burdened with the confusions—layed out by the previous generations to avoid getting caught in their devious lies. Another way of increasing one's knowledge is by abstaining from making any prediction of the future, thereby always making correct predictions, vacuously.

The Demigod of Security. Stability is the resistance to change, and security is ensuring and maintaining stability. A person's worth is precisely how capable that person is of maintaining a position. The security of a person is increased by setting rules, boundaries, and inflicting impositions. A secure person can demand more than an insecure person. Security is obtained through isolation and hedging, compartmentalizing the effect of change to remain as local as possible, allowing for a longer stretch before revolutionary action becomes necessary.

The Demigod of Fame. Only the figure of a person is known by others, never the whole essence of a person. The person's worth is precisely defined by the amount of people that are acquainted with their figure. A good figure is easier to remember, a bad figure is easily forgotten. A figure of speech is remembered by speaking well, whereas a good looking figure is remembered by the way it looks. Speaking loud and clear while developing a typical accent or trait aids memory; and, similarly, looking consistently the same also aids memory. A famous person is lonely: it is very difficult to make new connections with other people as a famous person, since other people already have a figure in their head which is not easily displaced by a more true part of their essence.

The Demigod of Power. A position of power is that in which one can act and change the world at one's own will. Powerful people can change the world—in good and bad ways. The more power a person has, the more delusional the person becomes. Power is obtained in the combination of all the previous demigods, being able to multiply the worths in all aspects. A hard working, wealthy, knowledgable, secure and famous person has immense power. Thus, the reduction of power of any person or group of persons is accomplished by reducing either their possibility to work, decimating or nullifying their wealth, invalidating their knowledge, disrupting and staggering them, or defaming and smearing them with bullshit. The largest reduction of power is obtained by simultaneously reducing all factors contributing to their power.

Concluding. The road towards the light is that in which we systematically diminish power, and thereby discharge the violent conquest of obtaining it. Appreciate idleness and poverty. Establish a maximum of knowledge and security, and do not let it expand indefinitely: ignorance is bliss, and take risk to live life to the fullest. Avoid believing in pictures: become an unemphatic iconoclast. Be critical of power and the structures that support it.


Footnotes

  1. That reminds me of a vivid scene of the Dutch movie Character (1997), in which the antagonistic father (Dreverhaven) of the protagonist bastard (Katadreuffe) dreams, being naked in front of a mad street crowd that intends to beat him up, shouting after he evicted the crowd from their homes: "You have no right to do so!"